Perfectionism

Online Counseling for Perfectionism

Your gut keeps telling you something isn’t right but you can’t quite but your finger on it. There may have been countless days of “googling” to try to figure out what is wrong with you. All you can see at this point is you are not living up to expectations and this terrible feeling is nonstop.

How many years have you spent emotionally beating yourself up for not being perfect? It is a vicious cycle: unrealistic expectations, ruminating thoughts about how it should go, desperately needing approval, obsessing over potential mistakes, and then doubting the entire thing. 

Have you fallen onto the trap of unrealistic expectations for yourself and others? I know this leaves you feeling helpless and fearful that life will never work itself out the way you envisioned it. 

Do you notice a pattern of helping or healing  others in your life to prove your own worth? 

You are your own worst critic and enemy. Situations become huge obstacles and prevent you from living a life that you love.

How about constant comparison to everyone else? The influences are countless saying you are not good enough. You are: too tall, too thin, too heavy, too skinny, not smart enough, too smart, talk too much, don’t talk enough. It truly is a losing battle.  

There is an endless desire to feel better about ourselves because deep down, you know it’s just not good enough.  

Perfectionism is like running an endless marathon

The constant fear of making mistakes is exhausting and prevents you from being the best version of YOU. Vulnerability can be harsh and gets in the way of discovering your authentic self.

Perfectionism and codependency go hand-in-hand. What will people think? It’s finding yourself fixated on a “standardized” goal of how things should look externally. It’s that constant “should-ing” yourself to be like everyone else. It’s the lying or hiding parts of yourself out of the fear of repulsing other people.

It is secretly faking it all the time.

It stands in the way of making decisions for yourself and constantly conforming to those social norms.

It is the embedded feelings of inadequacy that never go away.

It leaves you paralyzed. Even when you have accomplished something major, it’s still not enough.

Shame is brutal and leaves you burying and carrying it for years.

Are you tired of telling yourself “I’ll be happy when ……”

Schedule your free consultation!

Online Therapy for Perfectionism

It is possible that the perfection-seeking behavior has led you down a dark path that has made you angry with yourself and everyone surrounding you.

This cycle has exhausted you and you are probably looking for the secret potion to make it all go away.  There are so many layers to peel away. 

Being the best of the best can sometimes make you feel the worst. It may even bring out a side of yourself that you truly are not proud of.

You are here because you have had enough of this feeling of self-doubt. You want to stop pretending and perfecting everything but have no idea where to even start.

I know that you want to stand on your own two feet and know that you are enough all on your own.  That it is unnecessary to keep sugar-coating yourself for the approval of others.

It is time to let go of all those layers of self-protection and show the world who you truly are. It is about embracing exactly who you are and where you are in life right now.

Are you ready to stop doing everything for everyone else and learn to live for you? 

 

Schedule your free consultation!

Online Help for Perfectionism

Together, we will work on creating some new muscle memories in this area of your life. Remember it is not a flip of a switch. It is a process that takes place over time. Actually, it is more like a life-long journey.

Can you imagine reaching a point of believing no matter what gets done or isn’t done,  you truly believe you are still enough.

I can help you find your internal self-acceptance. Rather than ignoring your fears, you will face them head-on. You can determine how your life story will end.

Together, we will address the limitations and fears you have created in your life. You will take the control. You are here today because you want better.  And you deserve better.

Let me help you get out of your own head.

It is my goal to see you full of courage, have self-compassion, and a new inner connection to yourself.

Reach out today to get started on fearless living.

Change can be challenging.

As you begin your work, please keep these things in mind:

  • No one is perfect. It is okay to make mistakes, it means you are human. You don’t have to be perfect. No one really is.
  • Come to terms that you are not in control of what others do. It sometimes becomes frustrating when we begin to change, and others don’t. Remember: you can only be responsible for yourself.
  • Practice setting limits and boundaries with others. It is okay to say “no” to anything you do not want to do. Stop forcing yourself to go to dinner with the person you aren’t crazy about or attend that dreadful Christmas party.
  • You do not owe anyone an explanation. No is no. Only give further explanation if you truly want to
  • Begin thinking for yourself. What would you like to happen? How would you like to see your life a year from now? What do you want and need?
  • Be prepared for backtracking. You have been a people-pleaser your entire life, so expect some moments of weakness and falling into your old ways.
  • Loved ones are used to the old you. Expect some adverse reactions from others and be prepared for how you will remain in control and keep yourself protected.

Schedule your free consultation!

So, What Do I Do Now?

Therapy does not represent a broken person.  The willingness to reach out to a trained professional indicates you feel you deserve to be the best version of yourself. Therapy is guidance on how to rebuild yourself.

This is your opportunity to take a step back from the world. For the first time, learn to think about yourself and own needs. Let’s create space to grieve for things you were never allowed to feel. Healing from the events that never quite felt right. It is okay to let go of those times you told yourself you were overreacting or wrong for feeling. You are doing the best you possibly know how to do, so far. 

Imagine a safe space where you are understood and respected unconditionally. Where you can show your chaotic, imperfect life and receive compassion and warmth. A place where you can learn to understand yourself and share how shitty your day really has been.

When you’re lost and you don’t know where to go. You feel isolated and your gut feeling is telling you that something has to change. You are at that point in life that you don’t know who to trust or where to go for help, I can help! Start with scheduling a free 20 minute consultation so we can discuss your specific needs and determine if we are a good fit.

You have been painting a different picture for yourself and others your entire life. It’s not necessary anymore. Visualize a new time in your life where you don’t have to pretend. It is okay that your kids, spouse, job, home (whatever it is) isn’t perfect. Just take a deep breath and tell me how it really is. You have come to the right place, I am ready for us to do this together.

Email:  keesha@coastalcounselingservice.com

Hours:  By Appointment Only. Evening and weekend appointments available